Been away for toooooo long.

The year is almost over! Haaaa I look back and I can't seem to fathom what I did with my time......not good! But I've been on the downside for about 2 months....went thru 4 deaths in the span of a month and I'm still not over it. Thanksgiving was so whack, was thankful but it didn't show at all. Alcohol's been quite a good friend to me lately and I intend to keep it that way until I get some sort of conviction to stop. The things that matter the most to me seem to keep fading away.....don't understand why and I've really refused to understand. I would really like to blame someone.....maybe God but I can't. He's been so good to me yet I'm angry.....angry @ Him. Took a break from love and I'm facing the consequences.....may God keep me away from temptation. This is the one place that I always feel I can run to but it hasn't been that way for months. I feel like I'm in an icebox and I don't wanna be disturbed. Please keep me in your prayers.....please cuz I can't even pray rite now. Just thot I should share.

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There are so many posts I've written but I've just refused to post 'em........why? I have no clue. I'll soon.....hopefully! But one thing I know for sure is that I'm missing something in my life right now and I don't know how to get to it. I have strayed away from someone who's very inportant to me and I'm finding a hard time letting him know how I feel and how sorry I am for everything that's been going on lately. I know God hears me, he sees my heart and knows my every move even before I take a step.

Summer's come to an end for me. Not taking classes this semester but everything happens for a reason so I can't complain. I really don't have much to say for today. But I'll leave you all with this - No matter what comes your way always know that God cares and He's got a great plan for you." Much love!!!!

....Randoms....

Today is the first day in about two months that I haven't been on here. I miss this place each and every passing day, but due to some unseen forces/circumstances I chose to stay away. I've been doing things my way despite what I know the truth to be. I feel like I have dissapointed God in so many ways than one and I don't know where to start from. I keep saying I'm sorry, yet I go back to my old ways.

My Mum's not talking to me right now cuz she saw my belly button piercing on Sunday. We prayed the next day and she outrightly refused to see my face, talkless of giving me a hug. I'm hurt and of course and I know she's hurt also. I can't say I'm sorry either cuz she won't listen to what I've got to say. She belives that that's the beginning of waywardness, when in actuallity it hasn't changed who I am. I've had it for about two months now and she never saw it until Sunday. I don't know what to do or who to call for help so I'm just taking each day as it comes and when she's ready to talk, I'm gonna listen and not talk back until she's done.

I missed you all and I pray this week brings a lot of love your way.